-Although we suffer from many problems , pollution is the most dangerous one we face today .
It has too types as ; water pollution , air pollution , noise pollution and so on . But the one which is more common in our society as an industrial country is air pollution .
-There are many causes of air pollution , first demolishing of trees and forests and turning agricultural areas into cities which causes lack of the amount of oxygen and increasing of air pollution with CO2 . Second , smoke of cars and factories which makes air full of killer poisons .
- The air pollution has a terrible effects on the people as it causes many dangerous diseases such as cancer , lung diseases and heart diseases . It also effects on the growing crops and plants as it has its bad effect on the tempreature .
- In order to solve this problem , factories should be built outside cities to stop pollution . Trees should be planted every where to purify the atmosphere . Cars should be checked regularly . The government should build new cities in the desert to relieve the pressure of the crowded cities and to keep the agricultural areas without turning it into habitable areas .
- To sum up , environment is a creation of Allah and we must do our best to keep it pure and clean .
_you siould say numerous/different types . have long sentences try to break them down. small conclusion for ur topic. _it was all great u have various ideas and valuable solutions.
ReplyDeletepeace be up on you lobna.your essay is good and very simple.but yor senteces are very short and not related.But good draft iam wating for your final essay ,good luck
ReplyDeletesorry asmaa,i confused.good luck soso
ReplyDeletehi asmaa your essay is very good .your conclusion is exellent;but you need to make essay more related .good work
ReplyDelete-Although we suffer from many problems , pollution is the most dangerous one we face today .
ReplyDeleteIt has too types as (:) water pollution , air pollution , noise pollution and so on . But the one which is more common in our society as an industrial country is air pollution .
-There are many causes of air pollution , first demolishing of trees and forests and turning agricultural areas into cities (which) cause(s) lack of the amount of oxygen and increasing of air pollution with CO2 . Second , smoke of cars and factories (which) makes air full of killer poisons .
- The air pollution has (a) terrible effects on the people as it causes many dangerous diseases such as cancer , lung diseases and heart diseases . It also effects on (affects) the growing crops and plants as it has its bad effect on the tempreature (wrong spelling).
- In order to solve this problem , factories should be built outside cities to stop pollution . Trees should be planted every where to purify the atmosphere . Cars should be checked regularly . The government should build new cities in the desert to relieve the pressure of the crowded cities and to keep the agricultural areas without turning it into habitable(wrong word) areas .
- To sum up , environment is a creation of Allah and we must do our best to keep it pure and clean .
hi smsm i read your essay .It contained a great informations about the topic but you need to organize your paragraphes and explain your sentences and make it longer but your essay is one of the greatest easy i have read.Good bye somaaaa
ReplyDeleteya simsm your semtences are varied in lengh and strcture. -yotr words are simple. -ur essay have constant tone. ~in your introduction u spoke abot pollution in general. -u started ur paragraphs with topic semtence:but theyare too simple. ~ur best part is the solution paragraph. u need work on gntroduction and coalusion.
ReplyDelete